Confession?


I’m not sure what exactly this is, but this morning I felt good. Happy, for no reason. If any of you were writing that, I’d say that is a good thing, but with me, I’m not sure.

I don’t typically get happy. I’m more of a somber person in general. Always have been, which is why I noticed it was weird that I was happy. There is a possibility I’m over-thinking this, but what should I do? I took my kids to school and have accomplished some stuff, but I’m scared.

If I was happy for no reason, does that mean soon I’m going to be more depressed, emotional, angry for no reason? I don’t understand what would make me feel happy. I mean, life is good. I know that, but I don’t usually feel it. This is stupid to be writing about. I know that much, but I don’t care.

Anyway, I don’t know what I’m doing. Sorry for this post, I wont blame anyone for unfollowing me. It’s just weird. I’m concerned my hormones are out of whack, or something’s off, but maybe it’s normal. Do people wake up and move around and feel happy for no particular reason?

Bedtime Stories: Double


Double, double, toil and trouble.

The steady surface hides a bubble.

One part works, the other plays.

One part runs, the other stays.

Part depressed, part amused,

Everyone remains confused.

How can two exist in one?

How can darkness hide the sun?

What the hell is wrong with me?

Chains of anger bind the free.

Ok, that’s fine. The way it goes.

It’s better mainly one side shows.

No one could understand what’s real,

Both parts make up the way I feel.

Show the pain, the somber side.

Easier the “good” to hide.

Keeping expectations low.

For days when there’s no joy to show.

But every now and then, I see

The part I wish was more of me.

The loving, happy, carefree part.

Deep within the icy heart.

If I can somehow find a way

To make that part grow and stay.

Then maybe in that burst of fun

The two would finally become one.