I don’t think anyone followed my funeral/kidnapping/torture plan. I’m disappointed. I was totally being tortured and stuff.
Trifecta‘s challenge is to use the word “heart” defined:
3: personality, disposition <a cold heart>
The winning topic was Clamato Juice. Since that was a winner only because my husband cheated, McRibs and “how do porcupines mate” would have been in a three-way tie with Clamato, so I threw them in here too.
Heart of Gold
He threw the car into reverse and drove to the store. Same list as always. She was nothing if not a creature of habit. How she could stand to eat that meal was beyond him. After picking up the groceries, he swung through McDonalds and got a McRib sandwich and a coke. Now that was real food.
When he returned home, she was sitting in her chair watching tv. “Did you get what I asked you for?” His mom said from the living room. “I’m making it now. Two stalks of celery cut in four pieces. two pieces of lightly browned toast, and your juice, just the way you like it. I’ll bring it right in.”
He couldn’t understand how anyone drank clamato juice, especially with a shot of tequilla in it, but that was the way she liked it. Oh well, it didn’t hurt his feelings. The strong taste of her drink seemed to hide his “special” ingredient quite well.
It wouldn’t be long now. He had been her caretaker for 14 years. So, he was speeding the process up a bit. When he found out about her deposit box, and the gold inside, he had almost ended it then. He couldn’t get caught though. She was already old. They probably wouldn’t even do an autopsy, and if they did, the poison might not show up at all.
He carried the meal into the living room and set it on the tv tray. “Here’s your lunch mom, just the way you like it.” He glanced at the tv.
Have you ever wondered how porcupines mate? Bet you didn’t know there was a lot of urine involved. You don’t want to miss this. Next, after the commercial break.
Must be weird sex week on the animal channel.
“Thank you dear”, his mother said. “I haven’t been feeling well lately. I don’t know what I would do without you. You have a heart of gold.”
“Thanks mom. Finish your lunch now.”