Where is the freaking “off”button?


I want to write

I want to think

And I kind of want

A nice stiff drink

I need some time to figure out

The things that I keep thinking about

I know what I need but I’m really not sure

What it is I keep searching for

How am I supposed to find

The power button on my weary mind?

Trusting God


Me – It has been a problem for so long!

Him – I know, I’ve been there the whole time.

Me – When are You going to fix it?

Him – Just a little bit longer, I’m only making us stronger.

Me – The deadline is almost here.

Him – I know.

Me – I thought I trusted You.

Him – Point made.

Me – Touché Lord. I’m still scared.

Him – Be still, and know that I am God. You can always completely trust the One who loves you so much He died for you. I’ve got this.

Me – After a day or two of continuing to stress – Okay, thank You God. I’m still scared, but I see Your hand. Making me into the human You want me to be. Help me to trust Your plan.

Him – Hold my hand. I’ll walk you through it.

What to do when you realize you are an idiot:


In light of recent events, I am re-posting this as a reminder to myself. First and most importantly; don’t panic. 98.875% of the world’s population will come to this realization at some point in their lives. If you don’t think … Continue reading

12 Days of Christmas: Tattletale Twelve


Does anyone else think the “12 Days of Christmas” song is a little strange? Here are some more realistic lyrics.

Karaoke: (play in the background)

On the first day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He stuck his tongue out at me.

On the second day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the third day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the fourth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the fifth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

It is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the sixth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the seventh day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the eighth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the ninth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the tenth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He said “get out now”, they made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She called me whiny, he said “get out now”, they made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

Blue Christmas: Last Remake of the Season


Real Version – Karaoke   I am so blue, blue after Christmas.    Chaos is through, we’re done with the big fuss. Decorations still up, but it’s easy to see    I’m in no mood to, start taking down the tree. … Continue reading

Up On The Housetop: Do it yourself guide.


Real  Up on the housetop you better not pause    You’re not really Santa Claus. Down through the chimney you might fall    If you put the lights up so tall.   Oh, oh, oh! There you go.   Ow, ow, ow! … Continue reading

Santa Baby (Mom Version)


If you have not heard this song go to: This Link and hear the real thing first. If you’re familiar with the song, please open this link (or a similar karaoke version of the song) and listen while inserting the following words: … Continue reading