Like tonight,
I stay awake.
Wondering
About you.
If you are out there
Somewhere
Real.
More than my imagination.
More than my daydream.
More than your words
On a screen
In my hand
And in my heart.
I love the fantasy I have of you.
I love that you don’t actually see me.
There is something so beautiful about a world freed from reality.
I can be myself, without being my total self.
It is beautiful
Until
Some nights
Like tonight…
Sometimes in my dreams I can run. Like any normal person, playing in the sun. I wake up feeling stiff and sore, And for a moment I believe it’s nothing more Than all that running from last night. Then … Continue reading
Prisoner A prisoner to no man. To no woman. My body is my sadistic captor. It thrives on my humiliation. It writhes in ecstasy as I languish with pain. It forces me to acknowledge the chains it binds me with. … Continue reading
Today I chose to be free.
I shed my comforting skin for the exhilarating rush of the unknown.
I laughed at my fears and blew them away like a puff of smoke.
I decided I’d rather regret the chances I didn’t take than those I did.
I took a chance.
Sometimes taking risks pays off.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
Today, I choose to be free.
I will take the moment and cling to it.
I will savor each heartache and each victory, knowing they are neither good, or bad.
I will unburden myself from the expectations of others.
From the expectations of myself.
Today I choose to be free.
My friend, and man of many talents, Richard Thomas, has an exciting thing going on with his online magazine Gamut.
He mentioned that his site will even have some dark poetry, which inspired this rhyme. Go check his powerhouse, Gamut out after reading! By the way, he’ll be offering some great opportunities for writers (which most of us bloggers aspire to be).
What is it now, you frightened child,
With tousled hair and eyes so wild?
The bed bug monsters in your head
Grow when you get out of bed.
Staying in bed keeps them so small,
They might not even bite at all.
In fact, your fear makes them more strong
So hush now child, and run along
Be careful not to make too much noise
Bed bugs love the taste of girls and boys
If you start to cry, they’ll make you scream.
You’ll wish it was only a bad dream.
They’ll rip you open, and eat your heart
They’ll tear your little body apart.
So you’d better get right back in bed,
Before the morning finds you dead.
Good night my child, hope you sleep tight
Don’t let all the bed bugs bite!
What if the beliefs you’ve been taught we’re simply beliefs you’ve been taught?
What if you did what you wish the world do?
What if today was the day you became you?
What if you stopped being your past or your future, and you started to be?
What if you were not your thoughts, or your mood, or your parents?
What if you were the person you were made to be?
He had never been popular. Tod was a normal looking kid who got average grades in his typical middle school.
He wasn’t very athletic, nor one of those “bad boy” types who seemed to always be sneaking around with a cigarette or a girl.
The fact that girls seemed to go for guys like that, was almost enough to bring him back to the “girls are stupid” phase, except for her. Julie.
She had everything a 14 year old boy could long for and more. The only problem was that Julie was popular, aka blind to the rest of humanity, especially nobodies like him.
So Tod daydreamed about doing something amazing.
When the news segment was about a school shooting in Florida, he fantasized about being the kid who took the gunman down and saved the class.
If the weatherman mentioned the possibility of strong storms, he fantasized about leading Julie’s class out of a damaged school.
Even his dreams were about giving Julie the Heimleich maneuver or saving her from a distracted driver at the crosswalk.
He’d be the hero somehow. It felt like his destiny.
One year.
In one year he’d gone from being unpopular to the most popular kid in school, and now, here he was reading a note from Julie, and she’s calling him her hero.
One year of tests, diagnoses, medications and hospitals was all it took to be a hero. Well, that and his life.
He’d never imagined dying in a hospital bed before he turned 16, but he could feel it coming. Funny, he thought to himself.
There simply is a time and place
To show the sides of your writer’s face.
I tend to post it all too quick
From beautiful to really sick
But sometimes I need a gentle remind
That some of it should be held behind
The doors that only a few people see
Some might be better only for me.
That doesn’t mean I’m being fake
There’s only so much the world can take.
So I will try to keep a lid
On the writings that are better hid
Behind the public social wall
The view available to all.
Self-censorship is something I can do
Whether the piece is fake or true.
I’ll have a secret writing mind
And leave the controversy behind.
I know you’re scared,
You don’t know what to think.
What to do.
I don’t either.
I do know it will be okay.
You are strong.
The only thing that is real
Is now.
This moment where we are traveling through cyberspace.
Meeting eachother.
Right here.
Right now.
I’ve traveled the dimensions of time and space.
To meet you.
To hug you in a weird way
And to tell you
It will be okay.
Stop playing me.
Stop using me.
Stop toying with me.
Stop taking advantage of me.
Stop hurting me.
Stop destroying me and then reviving me so you can destroy me again.
I’m so tired of it.
Tired of hoping.
Tired of caring.
Tired of thinking.
Tired of you.
So stop. Go away or come back so I can pretend I don’t want you to leave.
Maybe I don’t.
Maybe all I want is for you to stop.
