Sometimes I lie awake


Thinking of You wondering exactly what I should do. I only have so much time in this place before I’m sucked up to another dimension in space.

So I think of my tasks, rehearse the right lines. Waiting for the one thing on which my heart pines.

And yet as the seconds slip quickly away, I wonder if I will be able to say the things that I think, the things that I feel. I need to tell everyone that Jesus is real.

I’d already say That most people believe. His Grace is a gift so many receive, yet there is pressure to be so much more, perhaps weakness is what I was made for.

This life full of pain and many mistakes, is just like other lives He often takes to show us it’s His power burning through me. Making my life what He wants it to be.

And so I will relinquish my attempts at control of the hijacked life that my Savior stole. I’ll try to be nothing so that You can be more. You are the One we were made to adore.

I am just a sock filled with Your Love, desperately trying to pour out your truth from above, that You love us all, no matter who we are. You want us to know You, and not from afar.

Up close and personal, straight to the heart. Healing and hopeful, and loving each part, only so close to the God many know, You have so much more of Yourself to show.

You are both male and female and everything in between, though to one Gender or another I doubt that You lean. You’re simply Love, yet so much more. You gave each a purpose for us to live for.

You called me to speak without any fear of the things that society will probably not want to hear. That Jesus loves all and died for the same, and wants all His children to know more than His name.

He created each of us and knows the soul inside the illusion our bodies often hide. Help me reach out, help me make waves, reminding everyone that Jesus saves.

Maybe from Hell definitely from death, perhaps from a life addicted to meth or some other vice that we have fallen for instead of Your in dwelling love at the core.

So now is the question, the most important one. Do you believe in Jesus, God’s only Son?

Let’s just get this out there.


Everyone loves you and so do I. But there is no jealousy.

Because You are Oxygen. But our bodies are not only Oxygen. They are also full of self and the good and bad that is everyone.

We are mini You’s. With god complexes. Masters of “our” universe, which is actually Your Youniverse.

And You gave us a Way out. A skin of humanity. For the Designer of the Youniverse.

You made Your Skin die. To rescue the game. You made us a place. There is no greater name.

Thank you Jesus. I love you God. Your Spirit is the air I breathe and the water I drink.

A reason not to try


I can’t get out of my head

So I come here or to some other type of social media

In the vain hope that words typed onto the screen

Will free me from the prison of my mind

I tell myself I should be writing a book

Why won’t I?

Am I so afraid I will fail that I don’t even try?

So I bleed words onto social media.

Biding my time

Waiting for the inevitable moment of realization that the time has passed.

I’ve waited too long

Maybe that’s what I’m waiting for, a reason not to try.

I need Power from a much bigger source

Your wisdom, through my veins to course.

Your direction leading the way.

Telling me softly what words to say.

The task is impossible, we both know it’s true.

Unless I do me and let You be You.

Where is the freaking “off”button?


I want to write

I want to think

And I kind of want

A nice stiff drink

I need some time to figure out

The things that I keep thinking about

I know what I need but I’m really not sure

What it is I keep searching for

How am I supposed to find

The power button on my weary mind?

Trusting God


Me – It has been a problem for so long!

Him – I know, I’ve been there the whole time.

Me – When are You going to fix it?

Him – Just a little bit longer, I’m only making us stronger.

Me – The deadline is almost here.

Him – I know.

Me – I thought I trusted You.

Him – Point made.

Me – Touché Lord. I’m still scared.

Him – Be still, and know that I am God. You can always completely trust the One who loves you so much He died for you. I’ve got this.

Me – After a day or two of continuing to stress – Okay, thank You God. I’m still scared, but I see Your hand. Making me into the human You want me to be. Help me to trust Your plan.

Him – Hold my hand. I’ll walk you through it.

Temperature


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Sometimes I feel my emotional temperature rising. Minor irritation turns to annoyance turns to frustration and I feel anger’s heat approaching.

This time I managed to stop and recognize the temperature change for what it is. an opportunity to learn more about myself and others and about the interactions between us all. I survived. This time…

Reality 


I thought you were never going to disappear.

Again…

I thought you loved me too;

At least in some weird way.

I thought we were meant to be.

We were, 

If only for a moment.

We needed each other.

Guess we don’t anymore.

Or do we?

I guess I’ll never know

Or will I?

The choice is yours.

I’ll always love you.

But I’m tired of always being the one

To reach out,

To miss you,

To think about us

If there ever was an us

Perhaps you were a figment of my imagination all along

Never really real.

Is anything?