Bringing New Meaning to Political Cartoon


The views expressed here are not any endorsement of a particular presidential candidate. They are simply observations of the similarities between presidential candidates and cartoon characters, in alphabetical order, so no hate mail please.

As the year draws to a close we are met with another exciting round of politicians eagerly trying to convince us of their superiority over the others, and of their capability to lead our nation for the next few years. Since it can be quite difficult to keep up with the candidates and their various positions, I have painstakingly compiled a summary of each presidential candidate and more importantly, the cartoon character that they represent.

Michele Bachmann – Little Red Hen

Bachmann: “I’m a former federal tax litigation attorney. I’m a business woman. We started our own successful company. I’m also a member of the US Congress. I’m a wife of 33 years. I’ve had five children, and we are the proud foster parents of 23 great children.

Little Red Hen lived on a farm with her five chicks.  The story is applied in teaching children the virtues of the work ethic and personal initiative.

Bachmann: “Simple. Fair. Flat. Everyone should pay  something.”

Little Red Hen: Have you ever worked hard on a project and found that no one would help you? Then when you got it all done, suddenly  everyone wanted to participate, or use your creation?

Herman Cain – Marvin the Martian

Marvin – In Looney Tunes Christmas he puts prices on products in a super store, until the end of the film when he is promoted to assistant manager.

Herman Cain – “I started at Pillsbury as a manager in one of their analysis functions, then worked my way up the corporate ladder to become vice president.”

Marvin – He attempts to destroy the Earth because, he reasons, “it obstructs my view of Venus”.

Herman Cain – “I’m a professional problem solver”.

Herman Cain – “President Obama’s economic policies have failed to anunreasonable degree. He has no plan for a course correction. He has promised a plan for focusing on job creation since he has been in office. He has had over two and a half years to get it right, and now he wants a month to write another speech, following a three-day bus tour that produced nothing but a bunch of photo-ops. We are not convinced we will hear anything new.”

Marvin – “Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!”

Newt Gingrich – Popeye

Gingrich: I’m not a natural leader. I’m too intellectual; I’m too abstract; I think too much.

Popeye: What am I? Some kind of judge or lawyers? Maybe not, but I knows what law suitks me. What am I? I ain’t no physcikisk, but I knows what matters. What am I? I’m Popeye the Sailor.

Gingrich: “The right policies lead to the right results. And I’m going to argue that President Obama will lose the future because the wrong policies lead to the wrong results.”

Popeye: “Wrong is wrong, even when it helps ya”

John Huntsman – Bugs Bunny

Huntsman: “I don’t think you need to run down someone’s reputation in order to run for the office of president.”

Bugs: “Trouble with this world is that everybody’s out to get everybody else.”

Huntsman: “We have learned that subsidies don’t work and that we can no longer afford them.”

Bugs: ”I haven’t got the heart to tell him that he’s used up all the money.”

Huntsman: “No Child Left Behind hasn’t worked for this country. It ought to be done away with.”

Bugs: “I wonder if some of you out there would care to contribute to the delinquency of a minor.”

Gary Johnson – Eeyore

We have not heard a word from the organizers of next week’s debate. Like everyone else, we simply read in the press that the list of participants does not include Governor Johnson. That’s unacceptable. – Senior campaign advisor Ron Neilson

Eeyore: “I’m telling you. People come and go in this forest, and they say, ‘It’s only Eeyore’, so it doesn’t count.”

Johnson: “This country would be a better place to live in if all the resources we currently put toward criminalizing marijuana were instead spent by law enforcement on protection from real crime, as opposed to victimless crime.”

Eeyore: “Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.”

Barack Obama – Foghorn Leghorn

Obama: “If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it’s possible that I’m a little too awesome.”

Foghorn was opinionated, full of himself, and yet, endearing. He loved a good practical joke, too.

Obama: He’s warm, he’s cuddly, loyal, enthusiastic; you just have to keep him in on a tight leash – every once in a while he goes charging  off and gets himself into trouble. Enough about Joe Biden.”

Foghorn: That dog is like taxes: He just doesn’t know when to stop.

Obama: “Hillary is not the first politician in Washington to  declare “Mission Accomplished’ a little too soon.”

Foghorn: “That woman has a mouth like an outboard motor: Put-Put-Put-Put-Put-Put-Put.”

Obama: I don’t want to be invited to the family hunting
party.” – responding to revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins.

Foghorn: That boy’s more mixed up than a feather in a
whirlwind.

Ron Paul – Mighty Mouse

Paul: “It is true that liberty is not free, nor is it easy. But tyranny – even varying degrees of it – is much more difficult, and much more expensive. The time has come to rein in the federal government, put it on a crash diet, and let the people keep their money and their liberty.”

The early operatic Mighty Mouse cartoons often portrayed Mighty Mouse as a ruthless fighter. He would dole out a considerable amount of punishment, subduing opponent cats to the point of giving up their evil plan and running away.

They both are concerned about fear tactics being used to control others.

Paul: “A citizen walking through the airport today is bombarded with 1984-style propaganda messages that are designed to make us fear some amorphous threat and also be suspicious of others. The government designs these messages to make us feel dependent and heavily lorded over in every aspect of our lives.

IMDb: “A viewer notified media watchdog Reverend Donald Wildmon that, in one episode of this series, it looks like Mighty Mouse reaches into a pocket and snorts cocaine from his hand to regain his strength… Bakshi denies it to this day, maintaining that Mighty Mouse was merely smelling some crushed flowers and that the white jet leading from his hand to his nose was merely a cartoon “smell line” moving super-fast from the mighty inhale. The episode was immediately pulled from the rotation so that no one would see it.”

Rick Perry vs. Mitt Romney   – Spy vs. Spy

“The hostilities flaring between Mitt Romney and Gov. Rick Perry of Texas have been steadily rising inside both camps and may signal a new, more combative phase in the Republican presidential campaign.” – New York Times

Spy vs. Spy: They are the only two spies we know who haven’t the sense to come in out of the cold. But they have a ball – mainly trying to outwit each other.

“Mr. Romney and Mr. Perry arrived here with a strategic imperative to challenge the other’s consistency and conservative credentials. The tensions only grew as the night wore on, to the point where Jon M. Huntsman Jr., the former governor of Utah, joked that Mr. Romney and Mr. Perry were at risk of bludgeoning each other to death.”  – New York Times

Their comic strip always features two spies, who are completely identical save for the fact that one is dressed in white and the other black. The pair is constantly warring with each other, using a variety of booby-traps to inflict harm on the other. The spies usually alternate between victory and defeat with each new strip.

Charles ‘Buddy’ Roemer – Doc

Roemer led a fiery campaign calling for a “Roemer
Revolution”, promising to “scrub the budget”, overhaul the education system, reform campaign finance rules, and slash the state bureaucracy by “bricking up the top three floors of the Education Building.”

Step up to the tub, It ain’t no disgrace
Just pull up your sleeves
And get up in place
Then scoop up the water
And rub it on your face
An’ go blud-dle-ud-dle-ud-dle
Ud-dle-um-dum
Pick up the soap
Now don’t try to bluff
Work up a lather
An’ when ya got enough Get your hands full of water
Ya snort an ya snuff
An’ go blud-dle-ud-dle-ud-dle
Ud-dle-um-dum
Ya douse an souse
Ya scrub and scrub
Ya sputter and splash all over the tub
You may be cold and wet when your done
But ya gotta admit it’s good clean fun

Rick Santorum – Daffy Duck

Santorum: “I’m ready to lead. I’m ready to do what has to be done for the next generation, with the courage to fight for freedom, with the courage to fight for America.”

Daffy: “This is opening new doors to feelings I never knew I had! Finally! A chance to champion the merits of goodness and honor!”

Santorum: “My feeling is, well, if it’s my money, I have a right to judge.”

Daffy: “It’s mine, you understand? Mine!”

Santorum: “Watching President Obama apologize last week for America’s arrogance – before a French audience that owes its freedom to the sacrifices of Americans; helped convince me that he has a deep-seated antipathy toward American values and traditions.”

Daffy: “Hey! Whose side you on fella?”

Well, there you go…please stay even more informed on the candidates’ positions before you vote.

*References are linked above. Primarily WikipediaIMDbBrainyQuote, and Project Vote Smart 2012.

© RFranklin and TheHobbler, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to RFranklin and Hobbling Around with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Pain-somnia


Pain is my passionate lover tonight, and it laughs at my Medication suitors, who try to lure me away with their promises of comfort and rest. I am captivated by Pain’s domineering presence yet I struggle against its powerful control.

Somehow, I manage to tear myself away from its tethers, to find some solace on the page. To Words I come, bruised and broken. Desperate for distraction. Anxiously awaiting the temporary freedom that comes with being swept away by their magic.

Of course, medical marijuana would be a lot easier, but it’s not legal here yet, and this blog is all about word play, so here I am.

Who’s up for a bedtime story?

Once upon a time there was a mirror. This glass was far from clear.

Children had placed, and replaced stickers on it so much that some of the stickers were no longer recognizable as anything other than dirty adhesive.

There was a lingering smudge from the time the woman drew a heart with “I love you” for her husband after that steamy shower, and where he had quickly replied “more”.

There were even smudges from the dogs nose when he discovered and introduced himself to his reflection.

Of course, the typical toothpaste splatters, occasional hair, and everyday dust and dirt marred its surface as well.

This is not part of the story, but I’m seriously thinking about ditching this and getting some ice-cream. Ice-cream and another pain pill…

What? You think I should finish my story? It’s a story about a mirror. i could spend some time thinking, writing, “reflecting” on the many insights to be discovered, but don’t you think we all spend enough time in mirrors? Get some windex, wipe it down and live your life.

Now, back to that ice-cream…

Speaking for those who can’t


Spreading the word. Thanks to Hook for writing about this.

You've Been Hooked!

“Hey did you hear about that Marineland place? We’ve always heard it was a major league rip-off, but now they’re saying they abuse their animals, too. You live here, what do you think about this”

This was how my first call of the day started. I had no idea just what the guest in question was referring to, but I’d heard the statement before; everyone in Niagara Falls has.

Bear with me, this one is different, but I should have written it years ago. But I stayed the course and wrote about crazy travelers when I should have been a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves, at least not in a language we can understand, that is. Most people will tell you they “love animals”, but how many of us have the courage to stand behind those words when it counts?

This week, in my hometown of Niagara…

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A Life Worth Living?


You would feel the same way if you saw the look in your kids’ eyes. When you can’t tell who is in more pain, you, or your wife watching helplessly. I know the arguments. I know the reasons. I used to believe them too. Believe them…hell, I preached them…

“Your life is not in your hands! It is appointed unto man once to die. Does that say it is appointed unto man once to feel sorry for himself? It is appointed unto man once to feel some pain? If God wanted you to take your life, he would have put an “easy” button on our bodies so we could check out any time the going gets rough. GOD is the one who decides. He can heal or destroy. Blessed be the name of the Lord in sickness and in health.”

Oh yeah, I believed it alright. I’ll never forget the pained look in Stephanie’s eyes after she talked to me about her mom…

“Pastor Bill, what if someone is hurting…scared…”

“You must believe. You must have faith. There is a reason that she is still here. Don’t give in to the temptation to take the easy way out. I know that it is hard, but God can heal! You can’t forget that. He can take her mind and make it sharp again. If he can stop the mouths of lions, don’t you believe he can give your momma some peace?”

“I know he can. He could…you don’t understand though. She doesn’t know who we are. She is scared of the nurses, driven to madness by the constant beeping. If she has a clear moment, she begs us to take her life. The only reason she is even alive now is because of the medications they pump into her.”

“I am sure it is hard. She needs you to be strong…”

We never did finish that conversation. That is the problem with being a pastor. There is always someone waiting in line to shake your hand and tell you “nice sermon”. She probably didn’t think I cared. I know I didn’t fully understand…

I do now though. How the accident happened, I still can’t remember, but I will never forget the look in my kids eyes when they realized I had just lost control of my bowels. The fear in my wife’s face as she realized that the church would only cover the immediate costs from the accident, not the costs of a few months of inpatient care, and a year, if I’m lucky of home health. “Health” in which I will be lucky to remember who my wife is, as the internal injuries slowly kill me. No one should have to watch their kids wipe their dad’s ass or watch their wife give up her life to care for someone whose “life” isn’t really living at all.

Hobbler’s note: I need to know any objections to assisted suicide. Also any views for it. I wrote that story as fiction, but there are many people in far worse shape than anything I can imagine. Please share your opinions. I was born to take this debate to the next level, and this is your chance to make a difference.

This is actually disturbing. You should probably not read.


The following is in response to the Trifecta writing challenge.

Everything would have been fine if she hadn’t started screaming. It wasn’t his fault anyway. He couldn’t choose who was going to throw themselves at him. What the hell was the matter with people anyway? There used to be a day when people had morals. Decency. Now it was easier to find a two-bit whore than a “virtuous woman”. Disgusting is what it is.

The funny thing is that no one seemed to give a damn. Sure their families might wonder, but that was more a ploy to get sympathy than anything else. Half the moms were just as cheap and the dads were the one’s providing the skimpy clothes they all wore. Pathetic really…

They were asking for it. He grabbed the corners of the sheet and lifted the evidence. Careful not to touch the body which was still slightly warm. What a waste. When are people going to realize how far down society had really come. People only care about themselves. They focus on their “silent” phones which seem to scream more loudly, even when the sound is off, then the real cries of their children. They leave their little darlings in the hands of people who would rather go outside and smoke a cigarette than do what they are supposedly “called” to do. It is sick.

He wouldn’t be able to completely get rid of the body until some of the heat had died down. No one even knew she was dead yet, so the shed would be just fine for a few hours. He could take her out to the river later that night. No one would suspect him. She had been beautiful. Long, blonde hair…dimples when she smiled. Too bad she was a tramp. He had seen it in her eyes. He knew she wanted him. Her dad had probably molested her. That is why she had been so desperate for it. Or maybe her mom had prostituted her out and she didn’t know any other way. Regardless, her life would have been over either way. At least she hadn’t suffered long with him.

He looked in the mirror and straightened his collar. He glanced at his watch. No one even wears these anymore…everyone does everything with their phone. Tool of the devil. Better stop thinking about it. There’s a job to do. He climbed into his sedan and turned the radio on. As he pulled up he saw that the news vans were already there talking to the parents. Bloodsuckers, always hungry for a story. Who cares how much it hurts someone. Here it goes.

“Thank God you’re here. I don’t know if we can do this. How could she have disappeared?”

Have faith…

“Excuse me, the Paulson’s have already been through enough. Please give them some space.”

Father Joshua is it true that you saw the child only yesterday? How could a 6-year-old be separated from the group? Isn’t this the 3rd disappearance among church members? Will your congregation be helping with the search efforts? Do you think she is still alive?

“Please! No further questions!” low-life vipers

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Speaking of a media circus…


If you have a television set, you have probably seen what some call a media circus. It is interesting how particular expressions can so adequately describe something that it becomes one of those “which came first, the chicken or the … Continue reading

Hobbling around the issues: Politics


When it comes to politics, there is definitely plenty of drama going on. I wasn’t sure if this would really qualify as an “issue” but then I saw a commercial that convinced me it was worth talking about.

Call me crazy, but until seeing this ad, I had no idea the Olympics were in trouble, and to think that one man could “rescue” them is amazing! If he can single-handedly rescue the Olympics, imagine what he could do for our country.

Sorry for the sarcasm. I understand the desire of a candidate for president to do anything possible to win, but am I the only one who is completely fed up with the drama involved?

To be completely honest, I don’t really care who the next president is. I’m still going to vote, but I think that none of the “pre-election” promises can hold any water. Whatever happened to honesty? Someone needs to hold a press conference and say “I don’t know what would happen if I was elected. There are so many hoops that I would need to jump through to get anything passed, so what is the point of promising something when there is no way I could control the outcome of whatever it is that I want to accomplish. Just vote for me, and we’ll see what happens.”

Instead, we hear about past decisions, inflated egos, lifestyle choices, what the other people are doing wrong, etc. It wears me out. I really just want WhatIMeantToSay (perfect name for a politician) to get in there with Wonderbutt and the crew, and rename all the titles to something cute, like WonderWhatThey’reThinking, WhatILiedAbout, WhereIsThePressWhenINeedThem, etc.