Trifextra: Crust, mantle, core


Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Trifextra – Give us 33 words from it.  Interpret the prompt however you wish–literal, metaphorical, or somewhere in between.

 

“He’s a hard worker. Doesn’t bother the others. He likes the night shift.”

“Oh, he’s a good boy. Always interested in how things work.”

They won’t know what hit them. Five, four, three…

It’s Not Me, It’s You


My second post in the journey to becoming someone I want to be with.

I can be a bitch. Sorry for the language, but that word is really the most appropriate. The thing is, sometimes I don’t feel good. Sometimes I am PMSy. Sometimes you are annoying (being honest here). Each of these things on its own could make you into someone you don’t want to be with, but the combination seals the deal.

This whole “wanting to be with me” thing keeps running through my mind. How can I be someone I like if I am pissed off or depressed all the time? I shouldn’t be too hard on myself I guess. It is only 95% of the time.

So, what should I do when I am annoyed? When I am so depressed that I have to drag myself out of bed? When life spits in your face then laughs about it?

Answer? Blame. Blaming someone else for your problems can make the problem hurt less. Don’t pretend you are above that. We all do it, even if we don’t always realize it.

The problem with the blame game is that often we blame those closest to us. Our spouse, our co-worker, our kids. In all fairness, they could have contributed to the problem, but if we really want to get along with ourselves, we at least have to take responsibility for our reactions to our circumstances.

So, how can we get out from under the weight of responsibility? Blame yourself. Not the self reading this, blame your bitchy self. Blame the depressed girl in your bed. If we can shift blame and guilt for our problems to the “you” that you don’t like, the you with potential to make different choices will have a chance to shine.

Realizing that even though there are a lot of things about life that suck, there are a few things that are really great. Knowing that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t as good as it might sound when you are discouraged. Those are traits of the person I might want to be with.

That you needs to look the miserable one in the eye and say, “so you are sick, so you are pissed, so you think life sucks…that’s not me, it’s you”. Then get off your butt and do something worth doing. If you do, if you leave your bad mood with the crappy “you”, you will be one step closer to becoming someone you want to be with.

OAA: The Final Chapter, and I need your help


This is the final post in the OAA series. A big thanks to all of you who have followed the overanalyzing fun. If you have read the series, I would really appreciate a brief review of it. I am in the process of submitting it to drama companies in hopes of an actual performance, and reviews will help with that process. Please help me with this.

For the past several weeks, the OAA members have been in their building (which is surrounded by poop) held hostage at gunpoint by Jerry. Joe had escaped by cab after ordering pizzas for the group.

Still Week 9

Jerry: When are those pizzas going to be here?

Bob: (Very depressed) I don’t know Jerry. Joe probably took off or something. You can’t blame him.

(Pizza guy comes through the door): We have an order here for (looks at notes) Bob?

Bob: Jerry is the one with the money.

Jerry: What is your deal Bob? You look like you’re about to jump off a bridge.

Bob: (Shakes his head)

Jerry: How much man?

Pizza guy: $81.95

Jerry: What? That is robbery!

Pizza guy: Hey, you got Piggy’s Pizza. Your wallet needs to be as fat as you are. You aren’t too fat though. You looked like you walked in off the street.

Jerry: Just take the money. (Pizza guy takes the money and leaves) (To everyone in the group) Where is Joe anyway?

Everyone starts looking through the pizzas and starts eating, ignoring the question.

Jerry: (Between bites) Okay, I don’t think Joe is coming back, and I’ve heard enough from all of you to write a book.

Listen, you all are some messed up people. I think you’re going to need a lot more than a measly support group to help you. Has anyone here tried medication?

Sue: I was on allergy medication once, but it made me really sleepy. It also made my eyes water. Maybe that was the allergies making them water…

Bill: Medications are part of the government’s plan to make us dependent on them and their “miracle” drugs.

Jill: I was on Xanax for a while, and Valium, but I felt like they were making me paranoid.

Jack: Although I understand how some people need medications, I have never really found them necessary. It seems to me like the need for medication is often the result of an underlying mental condition. Sure, there are people out there who have physical symptoms too, but if you really think about it, aren’t illnesses part of a deeper psychological cause? Long ago people were not on nearly as many medications as they are now. Actually, that is probably not being fair to the people with legitimate medical issues. I would certainly hate for people to assume that I had mental problems when I actually have some illness that mental…

(As Jack is talking, Bob begins quietly sneaking up behind Jerry. He reaches him and grabs the gun from his hand).

Bob: What! This isn’t even real?

Jerry: I may not be a rocket scientist, but I’m not an idiot. You think I would be dumb enough to bring a loaded gun in here? With you freaks?

Sue: How could you Jerry? All this time we have been so scared. The only good thing that has happened is Bob confessing his love for me, and that would have been better under different circumstances. Something like a twilight stroll on the beach or a trip to Paris…

Jill: Jerry, you are more of a jerk than Bill is, and he can be pretty bad. I am so mad right now, I could almost kill you.

Bill: You’re an alright guy Jerry. Here I thought they had finally gotten through to you, and were trying to gather info on us, when all along you were just messing with us. I have a whole new respect for you.

Jack: I thought it might be a toy gun. It didn’t look as heavy as it would have if you were holding a real gun. I’m good at noticing things like that. I’m not bragging or anything. People are good at all sorts of different things. Just because I’m good at noticing stuff doesn’t mean your talents aren’t important. In some situations they might not be important, but there are a lot of situations that would require some of the lesser skills that other people have. For example, if…

Jerry: Okay Jack, we get it. Anyway, this is the most your group has accomplished in the whole time you’ve been doing this Bob, so you shouldn’t be too upset. It’s been fun, but I’ve got to go. You all have helped me realize that even though I’m an alcoholic, broke, and homeless, it could be much worse. I could be like you all are. Thanks for the pizza. (Leaves)

Sue: Wow, that was crazy. So, is the building really surrounded by poop, or was he faking that too?

Jill: What are you on Sue? Seriously…

Bill: This has been the best night yet Bob.

Jack: I’d better head out too. I need to see if Joe is okay. He might have gotten killed or something. You don’t think the pizza guy would have given him a ride out of here right? Maybe he was too embarrassed to come back in and talk about his tall Asian body. I hope the pizza guy didn’t tease him too much about it. He already is so insecure, and any additional comments might push him over the edge. I guess that happens when you overanalyze stuff.

Sue: Bye guys. So, Bob…

Bob: Yes, I’ll walk you to your car.

Sue: I thought maybe we could get some coffee or something too. You don’t have to. I just assumed since we both know how we feel about each other that we might want to take our relationship to the next level. I’m not talking about having sex or anything. Just dating a bit. Taking it from here you know? But if you don’t think you’re ready…

Bob: Why not Sue. It couldn’t get much worse than it already is, right?

© RFranklin and TheHobbler, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to RFranklin and Hobbling Around with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The “Awesome At Awarding Awards Award”


I love getting blog awards. Just ignore this post: #1 and this one: #2  and these others: #3 and #4. Like I was saying, I love getting awards, but I don’t like the chain letter rules that are often attached. … Continue reading

OAA: Still Week 9


For the past few weeks, we have delved into the lives of the OAA members as Jerry holds them hostage. Continued from last week:

Jerry: Why did I even try asking you for your story? I should have known better than that. Alright Sue, let’s hear from you now.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Sue: Me? You want to hear from me?

Jerry: Your name is Sue right?

Sue: You don’t have to be mean Jerry. After all, I am the one who gave you a snack bar on your first day here. Anyway, you want to know my story, I’ll be more than happy to share it with you.

I never thought of myself as a overanalyzer. Some people had said some things about it to me before, but I always just saw it as noticing things. I don’t notice things like what the weather will be like, or if the stoplight is red, but I do notice the important things.

Like whether or not someone likes me. I never really thought of Bob that way until I noticed that he hit on me the first time I was here.

Bob: What? I didn’t…

Sue: It’s okay Bob. We might as well get our true feelings out, since this may be our last day here.

Anyway, when I saw that he was obviously attracted to me, I tried to think about whether or not I could like him in a deeper way.

Bob: Sue, you must have misinterpreted me. I never…

Sue: We don’t have to hide our feelings any longer, Bob. Don’t worry, I like you too.

Like I was saying, after thinking about it for a while, I realized that I could fall in love with him. Sure he isn’t the kind of man I am typically attracted to, but I need a change. Those men always end up being crazy, and finally I had found a nice guy.

Bob: Look Sue, I am glad that you think I’m nice, but if I have ever given you the impression…

Sue: That you are shy? Yes, I have noticed that, but every one of us has things that we find hard to talk about. It might have progressed faster, but our relationship would still be about the same, even if you had openly confessed your love for me.

Bob: Relationship? What relationship? Love? Are you kidding me?

Sue: Wow…I didn’t realize you were so sensitive. I’m sorry Bob, I should have talked about this in private with you, but since we both are fully aware of your desires, I didn’t think you would mind me talking about it in front of the group.

Bob: Please just shoot me Jerry…

Sue: There is no need for so much drama Bob. No one here will judge you for falling for me. Jerry and Bill have both had their own crushes on me, but we are all adults here.

Jerry: You are even more crazy than I thought you were.

Bill: I’ll admit it. I looked down your shirt once…

Sue: See, that is just the way it is Bob. Jerry is crazy in love, and Bill wants sex, but my heart is yours. Nothing can change that. Well, I guess if someone  kidnapped me and harvested my organs, technically they would have my heart, but you know what I mean right? I love you. Don’t you love me? You can admit it.

Bob: Sigh…what the hell. We are all about to die here. Sure Sue, sure. I’ve loved you since the moment you walked through those doors.

Jerry: Oh man, I could destroy you. Get a preacher in here, order some boxes of wine; funny stuff. Anyway, I’ve heard enough for now Sue. Who wants to order a pizza?

Everyone: I do

Jerry: That’s what Bob said. (Laughing) Alright, everybody pitch in. Joe, you can call if you promise not to call 911. (Hands Joe the phone)

TO BE CONTINUED…

OAA: Still week 9


When we left our overanalyzers last week, Jill has confessed to murdering her parents. Jerry seems to be getting a tad frustrated, but he doesn’t kill anyone yet.

Jerry: I thought I told you to shut up boy! Alright Jill, I almost killed you for taking your brother’s turn, but after that story I can see that you are more delusional than Bill is. Nobody move. I have to sit down. Does anyone have an aspirin?

TO BE CONTINUED…

Sue: I have an ibuprofen in my purse. I’m sorry it is not aspirin. I heard that wasn’t too good for you. Then I heard that it can help prevent heart attacks.

Jerry: ibuprofen is fine (sighs). Bill, I want to hear your story next.

Bill: Why? Is there something you haven’t told us? Are you one of the “Walmart” or rather “Walk Smart” people? I knew they would find me. Ever since I told this group about their connection to the aliens, I have been looking over my shoulder.

Jerry: You already were a paranoid freak. Just because I was here for the snacks doesn’t mean I didn’t hear you all talking.

Bill: Exactly! So, what did you do, bug the table?

Jerry: No! I didn’t bug anything!

Bill: Whatever you need to tell yourself Jerry. I know these things. Ever since I was abducted I can sense alien stuff.

Jerry: Maybe I should kill myself instead of you all.

Sue: Don’t say that Jerry. You are a part of this group. We care about you.

Jerry: Bill, finish your damn story.

Bill: Okay, although that wasn’t a very nice way to talk. I guess you can’t really expect much from aliens though.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away a little alien was being sent away by his parents. This alien was very special indeed because when he got angry, his true green would come to the surface, hell-bent on destruction. As much as this alien was mean, he was also nice. He cared very much for the destitute, and he would often rob from the rich and give to the poor.

Jerry: Woah Bill…that sounds like a montage of movies.

Bill: Well yeah! You think I am going to tell my real story? To an alien insider? I’m not stupid Jerry. I’m not going to play along with your silly games.

Jerry: Why did I even try asking you for your story? I should have known much more than that. Alright Sue, let’s hear from you now.

TO BE CONTINUED…

OAA: Week 9 (still)


For the last four episodes, is it four? I can’t really remember. Anyway, Jerry surrounded the building in human manure with the help of his bum friend. He has been holding the members of Over Analyzer Anonymous hostage. Bob just told Jerry and the group why he started OAA. Jerry decided to let him live at least until the others have finished telling their reasons why he shouldn’t kill them.

“Jerry: Can’t you all shut up for 5 minutes? Alright Bob, I won’t kill you yet. You might as well hear the other sob stories. You…your turn…”

Jack: Excuse me Jerry, which of us were you pointing at. From this angle it looked like you were pointing at Jill, but Bill is in that general direction also. For all I know you may be drunk and pointing at an imaginary pink elephant or something. Not that you imagine pink elephants when you are drunk. Hey man, if you do imagine pink elephants, it is okay. There is nothing wrong with that. Your mom probably told you there was huh. I have never understood that. Why can’t little boys like pink elephants or any other thing they want to like? Not that you were drunk when you were a little boy. You don’t have to be drunk to think about pink elephants. I just thought about them, and I am very sober. Please don’t feel like I am judging you if you are drunk. I know that there are many reasons someone…

Jerry: SHUT UP! Look. You seem like a decent sort of psychopath, but if you keep talking I will have to kill you now, and that will freak all you other freaks out so SHUT UP! You Bill, why should I not end your paranoid misery?

Bill: Ha! I knew he’d pick me. Look man, it’s like this…

Jill: No! Don’t say another word Bill. Okay, I did it. I killed my mom and dad, but it was in self-defense! I swear!

Sue: It’s okay Jill, I’m sure it was…

Everyone: Shut up Sue

Jill: I didn’t mean to. Really. They had blindfolded me. I thought they were going to hurt me, and, get this, it was on my birthday! No one wants to die on their birthday. They blindfolded me and they were laughing. Laughing! I didn’t know what to do. I was a kid…8, maybe 11 years old. Billy was watching. He was only 6 or so. He was laughing too, but he didn’t know any better.

They were the ones who knew. I was so scared I was trembling. My mom put her arms around me. I thought at first she was giving me a final hug before they did it. Then she started spinning me around. Can you believe that? Spinning me! They were laughing again and I knew it was the end.

I had to do something. Run, call for help, something, but I was dizzy from the spinning and there was no one around to hear me scream. Finally she stopped turning me, and then they did the strangest thing. They put a weapon in my hands. It was like they wanted me to end their reign of terror. I could see through the crack at the bottom of the blindfold, and I swung that bat like there was no tomorrow. Mom was closest, so I bashed her head in first, and when dad leaned down to shield her from more blows, I smashed his face in too. I didn’t have a choice…

I pulled the blindfold off and grabbed Billy’s hand. As we ran into the woods I saw the thing they were going to use to murder me. It was a pink crown hanging from a tree. This thing was massive and it looked heavy. It probably had a bomb or something in it. My parent’s had been so sadistic they had even put a big 12 on it. The age I turned that day. Sickos.

Anyway, when Billy asked me why I killed them, I told him that they weren’t actually our parents, alien shape-shifters or something is what I told him. I guess that is why he is so screwed up, but I had to tell him something…

I don’t want to go to jail. Please, you all can see what happened right?

Sue: Of course we can see Jill. You didn’t have a choice, poor thing.

Jack: Um Sue, I think the crown was actually a…

Jerry: I thought I told you to shut up boy! Alright Jill, I almost killed you for taking your brother’s turn, but after that story I can see that you are more delusional than Bill is. Nobody move. I have to sit down. Does anyone have an aspirin?

TO BE CONTINUED…

I think I need an intervention…


Don’t worry PMAO. This is not about the drugs. Fellow bloggers. My friends. I may need help. It has been three years since my last confession. What am I talking about? I’m not catholic. Okay, help please. I was starting … Continue reading

Bedtime Stories: A Different Kind of Toy Story


Once upon a time there was a girl. She had very few toys to play with because her family didn’t have a lot of money. The toys she did have, she loved. She would take them everywhere she went. When … Continue reading