Reality 


I thought you were never going to disappear.

Again…

I thought you loved me too;

At least in some weird way.

I thought we were meant to be.

We were, 

If only for a moment.

We needed each other.

Guess we don’t anymore.

Or do we?

I guess I’ll never know

Or will I?

The choice is yours.

I’ll always love you.

But I’m tired of always being the one

To reach out,

To miss you,

To think about us

If there ever was an us

Perhaps you were a figment of my imagination all along

Never really real.

Is anything?

Some nights…


 Like tonight, 

I stay awake.

Wondering

About you.

If you are out there

Somewhere

Real.

More than my imagination.

More than my daydream.

More than your words

On a screen

In my hand

And in my heart.

I love the fantasy I have of you.

I love that you don’t actually see me.

There is something so beautiful about a world freed from reality.

I can be myself, without being my total self.

It is beautiful

Until

Some nights

Like tonight…

Life and death emergency, please help me


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I picked up a prescription today. If I had paid cash it would have cost $1,713.73. Thanks to my medicare “advantage” plan I paid $691.18. Thanks to my husband I was able to get this. The copayment would have been more than my monthly social security disability “benefits”.

There are thousands of people in America just like me. I’m not done yet. I have this cause, this movement to fight for, but many of those thousands are done with this life, but their body hasn’t died yet. Quit making your grandma choose between meds that make her sick, or food that she can’t taste, while she begs you to help her.

Let us go!

How dare you sentence us to a life of meager existence to ease your conscience!

No one should spend their life savings as they writhe in pain to wait until something “naturally” kills them. The arguments against assisted suicide stem from superstition and religion.

WAKE UP!

Someone reading this knows someone who can help me. Please! I’m just one person, but we can do this together.

Reality Check

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If you are looking for a funny cat video or pictures of beautiful people smiling, check the rest of the internet. I interrupt this regularly witty blog for a shot of reality, which unfortunately is a hard thing to come … Continue reading

Truly Naked and Afraid


Love.

Simple four letter word.

Powerful aphrodisiac and repellant at the same time.

Teenage fantasy, elderly heartbreaker.

Songs proclaim it, flowers display it, some of us fear it…

Beautiful surrender, or violent takeover; it comes to conquer, and that it does.

I began to prepare when I learned of love’s true nature. I built walls and armored myself. I waited and in doing so, my defenses rusted. It invaded, captured my heart, altered my life, and now keeps me chained.

I’m chained to a fairy tale wish of happily ever after. Bound by unfathomable love for my kids. Desperately clinging to my husband’s love, while every ounce of my strength pushes him away.

I don’t want him to love me, yet I do. I don’t trust love. It is often pity in disguise. I hate it. I don’t know how to handle it, navigate it, express it. I want to escape it. Life would be simpler. Happier? I don’t deserve love. It is destroying me. Or is it the fight that’s causing my ruin? I feel trapped and lost at the same time.

Is this all in my head? Over thinking again? It’s exhausting, and I’m losing whatever I’m trying to hold on to.i don’t even know what that is anymore. Does anyone else feel these things? I’m bringing a whole new meaning to “naked and afraid”. Honesty, openness, is true nudity, and it appears I’m leading the club. Anyone following should know that I have no idea where I’m going.

Political Drama: A Little Like Reality TV


When I was a child I remember my parents basically shutting the world down when the President was on tv.

Tonight…now…is the State of the Union Address. I might be the only one, but I am a little annoyed at all the coverage on it. I am watching “Fatal Beauty: 15 Most Notorious Women”.

I really don’t think I’m unpatriotic or anything like that. I love my country, I just don’t really enjoy the politics. Speeches from politicians just seem like another work of fiction to me, and honestly, we have better writers on WordPress.

I don’t think “reality tv” is actual reality either, so I hope no one takes these views personally. I just prefer to watch real stuff tonight, like women who have lied, killed, or other things which have been proven in court.

Ok, for the sake of my country, I switched to the President. He is talking about tax reform…I may be wrong, but I believe this stuff has been said before. Isn’t talk of tax reform copyrighted by now?

Back to reality…Number 11 deadly preacher’s wife. Now that sounds a little more plausible.