Let’s just get this out there.


Everyone loves you and so do I. But there is no jealousy.

Because You are Oxygen. But our bodies are not only Oxygen. They are also full of self and the good and bad that is everyone.

We are mini You’s. With god complexes. Masters of “our” universe, which is actually Your Youniverse.

And You gave us a Way out. A skin of humanity. For the Designer of the Youniverse.

You made Your Skin die. To rescue the game. You made us a place. There is no greater name.

Thank you Jesus. I love you God. Your Spirit is the air I breathe and the water I drink.

Where is the freaking “off”button?


I want to write

I want to think

And I kind of want

A nice stiff drink

I need some time to figure out

The things that I keep thinking about

I know what I need but I’m really not sure

What it is I keep searching for

How am I supposed to find

The power button on my weary mind?

Funny: A bedtime story


 
He had never been popular. Tod was a normal looking kid who got average grades in his typical middle school. 

He wasn’t very athletic, nor one of those “bad boy” types who seemed to always be sneaking around with a cigarette or a girl.

The fact that girls seemed to go for guys like that, was almost enough to bring him back to the “girls are stupid” phase, except for her. Julie.

She had everything a 14 year old boy could long for and more. The only problem was that Julie was popular, aka blind to the rest of humanity, especially nobodies like him.

So Tod daydreamed about doing something amazing.

When the news segment was about a school shooting in Florida, he fantasized about being the kid who took the gunman down and saved the class.

If the weatherman mentioned the possibility of strong storms, he fantasized about leading Julie’s class out of a damaged school.

Even his dreams were about giving Julie the Heimleich maneuver or saving her from a distracted driver at the crosswalk.

He’d be the hero somehow. It felt like his destiny.

One year. 

In one year he’d gone from being unpopular to the most popular kid in school, and now, here he was reading a note from Julie, and she’s calling him her hero.

One year of tests, diagnoses, medications and hospitals was all it took to be a hero. Well, that and his life. 

He’d never imagined dying in a hospital bed before he turned 16, but he could feel it coming. Funny, he thought to himself.

Shh…


  

I know you’re scared,

You don’t know what to think.

What to do.

I don’t either.

I do know it will be okay.

You are strong. 

The only thing that is real

Is now.

This moment where we are traveling through cyberspace.

Meeting eachother. 

Right here.

Right now.

I’ve traveled the dimensions of time and space.

To meet you.

To hug you in a weird way

And to tell you 

It will be okay.

Just Stop


  

Stop playing me.

Stop using me.

Stop toying with me. 

Stop taking advantage of me.

Stop hurting me.

Stop destroying me and then reviving me so you can destroy me again.

I’m so tired of it.

Tired of hoping.

Tired of caring.

Tired of thinking.

Tired of you. 

So stop. Go away or come back so I can pretend I don’t want you to leave. 

Maybe I don’t.

Maybe all I want is for you to stop.

Bound by you


  

I’m captured by you.

Bound by you.

Tortured by you.

Turned on by you.

Thrilled by you.

Hurt by you.

Consumed by you.

You make me laugh.

You make me cry.

You sicken me.

You control me.

I can’t put you down.

I can’t escape you.

I can’t erase you.

I am yours.

This second, this minute, this hour.

Until I turn the last page.

I am your reader.

I love being tangled up in you.


I had the strangest dream last night.

I must admit it felt so right.

I was alone, (or so it seemed)

Till it appeared, (or so I dreamed).

The rarely seen, mysterious beast

Upon whom I like to feast.

It drew me in, this twitching string.

I played the cat, clawed at the thing.

Focus on, my mind entranced

Spellbound as the string danced.

I finally caught the elusive thing;

That taunting, disappearing string.

It felt so good between my paws,

Tasting it within my jaws.

Did I play with it, or it with me?

One day the truth I just might see.

It doesn’t matter either way,

The game is fun when both can play.

But now it’s time to groom my fur.

To rub a leg and start to purr.

One day we will meet again.

My muse, and captivating friend.

The end of hope


  I’m tired of believing.

Tired of wishing on stars.

Tired of dreaming the impossible dream.

Tired of waiting for answers.

Tired of hoping things will change.

Things won’t change.

But I can.

I can know instead of believe.

I can stop wishing and just enjoy the stars.

I can wake from impossible dreams and see what really is possible.

I can find out instead of waiting for answers from something else.

I can change instead of hoping my world will.

Belief is an excuse if there is no movement behind it.

Wishes need dedication to become reality.

Dreams can prevent you from seeing the beauty in each moment.

Waiting for answers is never as satisfying as discovering the truth.

Hoping things will change, can keep you from changing yourself.

Goodbye belief.

Goodbye wishes.

Goodbye dreams.

Goodbye waiting.

Goodbye hope.

Hello reality. Hello action. Hello me. Hello you?