Funny: A bedtime story


 
He had never been popular. Tod was a normal looking kid who got average grades in his typical middle school. 

He wasn’t very athletic, nor one of those “bad boy” types who seemed to always be sneaking around with a cigarette or a girl.

The fact that girls seemed to go for guys like that, was almost enough to bring him back to the “girls are stupid” phase, except for her. Julie.

She had everything a 14 year old boy could long for and more. The only problem was that Julie was popular, aka blind to the rest of humanity, especially nobodies like him.

So Tod daydreamed about doing something amazing.

When the news segment was about a school shooting in Florida, he fantasized about being the kid who took the gunman down and saved the class.

If the weatherman mentioned the possibility of strong storms, he fantasized about leading Julie’s class out of a damaged school.

Even his dreams were about giving Julie the Heimleich maneuver or saving her from a distracted driver at the crosswalk.

He’d be the hero somehow. It felt like his destiny.

One year. 

In one year he’d gone from being unpopular to the most popular kid in school, and now, here he was reading a note from Julie, and she’s calling him her hero.

One year of tests, diagnoses, medications and hospitals was all it took to be a hero. Well, that and his life. 

He’d never imagined dying in a hospital bed before he turned 16, but he could feel it coming. Funny, he thought to himself.

Blue Christmas: Last Remake of the Season


Real Version – Karaoke   I am so blue, blue after Christmas.    Chaos is through, we’re done with the big fuss. Decorations still up, but it’s easy to see    I’m in no mood to, start taking down the tree. … Continue reading

Planning the Perfect Pity Party


The key to having any perfect party is effective planning. Here are some tips to help your next pity party be a great success.

1. Choose the perfect date – The best day for a pity party is a day that most people will be busy. Then when they don’t show up, you will have an extra reason to be sad.

2. Invite as many people as possible – By inviting lots of people, you will guarantee the party’s failure. Start with the president, and as many politicians as possible, then hit up your entire email address list, and all of your Facebook “friends”. Save the people who might actually show up for last, so the odds of them making other plans are high.

3. Forget about the party  There is nothing better than forgetting about your own party to ensure that at least a few people will be pissed off.

I would write additional tips, but I have a party to forget about.

While you mourn my loss, please check out the following party posts:

Rebecca2000: WTF Friday #4

Roly: Hobbler’s Pity Party, and Pity Party Pooper Too

LifeInTheFarceLane: Pity party, party pooper

Lisa Summerlin: All In A Day’s Whine

Love and Lunchmeat: Oh, the Things I Could Do If I Were More Like Martha and Double Plus Not Good

Edward Hotspur: Hobbler’s Pity Party and Silly Pity

Bats: Pity Party USA via Hobbler

SandyLikeABeach: James Hiding Philosophy Notes In Pity Party Dress Taken For Joyce

Adorablyad – I Have a Lot to Pity Myself For

Hobbler: It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To and Whiners of the World Unite

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To


Is it just me, or does she seem too happy for that song?

Top Ten Things You Should Pity Me For

10. My size. It doesn’t matter what size I am. It could always be better.

9. This is a pity party. That should be reason enough.

8. My butt hurts. All the time. Worst thing about being in a wheelchair.

7. I’m not a millionaire. Other people are. Guess I’m not good enough for that.

6. Nobody is coming to my pity party. Oh, you’re here? Well, aren’t you lucky. Since I called you nobody, you have something to feel sorry for yourself about. No one called me nobody.

5. All the stupid scratch tickets I’ve wasted money on.

4. No one reads/buys my book. It isn’t because I haven’t written one. I haven’t written one because no one would read or buy it.

3. My dog died. When I was like, 19. It wasn’t really my dog. I don’t actually like dogs much. Maybe you should feel sorry for me having a dog.

2. Dog lovers hate me now.

1. People always want me to give them a reason to pity me. Just do it!

There’s a few questions in the comments, and feel free to add your own, then go write your pity party if you haven’t already.