A few last minute Christmas gift ideas for husbands:


Write him a book: The great thing about this idea is that you don’t actually have to write a whole book…your husband probably won’t read it anyway. Just write a few pages, dedicate the book to him, and then paste those pages into some romantic book like “Lady and the Tramp”. A new book cover and you are ready to go.

The Sleep Inducer: What! You haven’t heard of this? Well here is the link: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-4b

Coupon booklet: If you have children they have probably made you a few of these, but basically you just write a few “coupons” for housework or other things. The great thing about this gift is that after Christmas, your hubby will leave this book lying around somewhere. Before he gets a chance to cash the coupons in, just hide the book. Your husband will not want to get into a fight about how he could have lost the book you worked so hard on, so he will probably not even mention that it is missing.

A blow up doll: Not that kind…you and your dirty minds. One of those things that you blow up and then punch…it’s like a punching bag, but cheaper and easier to wrap. They come in all sorts of characters like Mickey Mouse and Sponge Bob. Your hubby needs something that he can take his frustrations out on and it can be a great workout.*

Bows: One of the great things about Christmas is that you can slap a bow on something and it suddenly becomes a gift. Bows can be conveniently stuck to almost anything that your husband seems to enjoy…guns, tv, money, body parts, etc.

Merry Christmas and Good Luck!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

Blue Christmas: Last Remake of the Season


Real Version – Karaoke   I am so blue, blue after Christmas.    Chaos is through, we’re done with the big fuss. Decorations still up, but it’s easy to see    I’m in no mood to, start taking down the tree. … Continue reading

Santa Baby (Mom Version)


If you have not heard this song go to: This Link and hear the real thing first. If you’re familiar with the song, please open this link (or a similar karaoke version of the song) and listen while inserting the following words: … Continue reading

Jingle Bells: And Other Noisy Toys


Real – These things are better if you sing them to the tune of the real song. Went shopping on Black Fri.    I got a bunch of toys Passed up the drum set my kid wants   Cause I didn’t … Continue reading

Forget this Middle-Age Crap, I Want to be Old


I’m 31…not right in the heart of middle age, but no spring chicken either (who ever thought of that expression spring chicken…sounds like some farmer who might have loved his animals a little too much). Along with having the aches … Continue reading

Tips for Back To School Shopping


This is an older post…a year ago yesterday. Anyway, it still applies. *These tips may not work well for everyone. Some side effects reported are blurred vision, constipation, diarrhea, nausea, headaches, and trouble sleeping. If these continue or are bothersome, … Continue reading

A confession:


Today, Pudding Girl tagged me, which is very nice and all, but honestly…I just don’t want to do these things. Please don’t take it personal, cONTEMPORARY mUSINGS, and Adrianna either tagged me or awarded me before, but I didn’t really respond the way I was supposed to. I think it is wonderful that people like to tag me and all that, but I just don’t like following all the rules, so I had an idea:

All the things you data miners wanted to know about me, but haven’t asked, or have asked, but I haven’t replied…in alphebetical order:

A – Alligator skin: don’t really get the concept.

B – Botox?: Yes, have had it and probably will have it every few months, see: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-w4

C. Coffee: Black…yeah, I’m cool like that.

D. Dogs: Only if they are cats pretending to be dogs.

E. Elvis: Dead…sorry.

F. French kissing: Married people rarely do that.

G. Go-carts: I could probably beat all of you.

H. Hormonal? Always.

I. Ice-cream: Blue Bunny Birthday Party…Food Orgasm material see: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-Q

J. Jeans: I used to love them, but now I wear sweats all the time since I am in a wheelchair and no one really looks at my butt anymore.

K. Kangaroos: Hmmm…I don’t know where some of these questions come from.

L. Lice: Had once when I was a kid – Realized it wasn’t that great to love those bus kids on the church van…still love them anyway, I just don’t let them sit on my lap anymore.

M. Married: Yes, but thanks for being interested.

N. No? Use the word all the time…I have kids.

O. Ocean: Scared of water…my wheelchair is too heavy and it gets stuck in the sand anyway. As of now, I can still use a walker occasionally, but it gets stuck too.

P. Pee and Poop: Now you are starting to sound like my 7-year-old.

Q. Quarters? Save change and cash in twice a year for Fireworks and Stocking Stuffers.

R. Reality: Wondering if it is real.

S. Strange: Never…who would even think I would be that?

T. Terrible: Cook, Housekeeper, Driver, etc.

U. Ugliness: I think it is just an illusion.

V. Violence: Sucks

W. Words: Best thing ever.

X. Xerox Machines: Never attempted any body part scans.

Y. Youth: Is not as great or horrible as people think.

Z. Zippers: Incredibly jealous of the guy who invented them.

If you follow this blog, consider yourself tagged. You are very welcome. On another note, Edward Hotspur suggested these games:

There’s a scavenger hunt that people could play on both my and Hellis’ blogs, and there’s even prizes for people who win…

OH! There’s also a Choose Your Own Blog Adventure on my blog that people could play. If someone was interested. That might be kind of fun.

Another game would be someone (Hobbler) starts a story with a sentence, and the next person (that she names) makes a post with the next sentence and links back to her first sentence, and so on, until we get a certain number of sentences, say 20. Then Hobbler compiles all the sentences and posts them all together.

I love all three ideas if anyone wants to play, but we need a planner type person who could work out a time frame for each game…or we could just play one each weekend for the next few weeks. Please just let me know.

Hate to break this to you, but…


10. If your “friends” were really your friends, they would have told you that you couldn’t sing before you tried out for American Idol…and made it…to the worst singer list. 9. Those “trendy” clothes were designed by the guy voted … Continue reading