OAA: Week 5

If you haven’t read any of my other one’s OAA stands for Over Analyzers Anonymous. If this topic interests you, there is a OAA category where you can enjoy more self-abuse.

Bob: Hello everyone, it is nice to see you back here.

Sue: Hi Bob

Jill: Hi

Bill: Man, last week was so funny. You should have seen your face.

Bob: Yes, it was funny. Welcome back Jerry!

Jerry: (By snack table, doesn’t even look up)

Bob: Well, we have a new visitor today, what is your name?

Becky: Hi, I’m Becky

Everyone: Hi Becky

Bob: So, what brings you to our little group.

Becky: What is that supposed to mean? I didn’t know this was an exclusive group. I just had a note left on my windshield about this little meeting, so I thought I’d check it out.

Bob: No, this is definitely not an exclusive group, we are glad to have you!

Becky: Okay, this is the thing…I think someone is stalking me.

Sue: Oh no!

Jill: (Hits Bill)

Bill: It is not me! I gave that up after that restraining order.

Bob: Why do you feel that way Becky?

Becky: Well, there was this guy, actually a few of them…anyway, one of them gave me a present, and another one pretends to be busy, but I know that he is secretly following me.

Bob: What makes you think that?

Becky: Alright, here is the full story. A long time ago I had kind of stumbled across these guys. It was fun and all, but nothing really came of it, until one day when a few friends and I hung out with them. That was really a blast, but you know, fun times should only last a little while, right?

Sue: Well, it depends on what you are doing.

Jill: Definitely

Bill: No way! Unless it involves spying…well, actually that can last pretty long too, if you do it right…

Bob: Go on Becky.

Becky: So, my friend Cookie, who was there that night mentioned that they seemed to be a little obsessed with us. So, I started paying attention. It was weird, I noticed little things, like they would be a lot funnier when they talked to us than they were when they talked to other people. You know that humor is always the best way to get someone to fall in love with you.

Sue: I don’t know, sometimes if you twirl your hair just right, wear a certain shirt, ask someone to walk you to their car…

Jill: Love isn’t real. Sorry.

Bill: Humor is actually an attempt to lure you into becoming a human test subject.

Bob: Sometimes humor is just a way to break the ice, express yourself, or connect with people.

Becky: You guys talk a lot. Anyway, one of them just gave me a present, so obviously he is stalking me. The other said I’m awesome, so you do the math…

Bob: Well, both of those things could just be normal stuff…

Becky: I don’t think you understand. I know when people love me. I’m just that good. The weird thing is, they think that I am stalking them just because I talk to them every once in a while. It really is a little ridiculous. As my friend Cookie said, what is so bad about being a stalker? We both actually kind of like it…well, until they show up outside our bedroom windows, that will be a little weird… We also know that if we ever decided to stalk anyone, they would secretly love it. Anyway, I think that is why that handsome guy left a little note on my windshield. I think he guessed that I might be overanalyzing the whole thing, and he wanted me to get help.

Bob: Uh-huh…wow, look at the time…let’s all make a run to the snack table…wait, where is the snack table? Jerry? Where is Jerry…nevermind, we’re all out of time…Sue, will you bring snacks and a table next week?

Sue: (Blushing) sure Bob.