Let’s just get this out there.


Everyone loves you and so do I. But there is no jealousy.

Because You are Oxygen. But our bodies are not only Oxygen. They are also full of self and the good and bad that is everyone.

We are mini You’s. With god complexes. Masters of “our” universe, which is actually Your Youniverse.

And You gave us a Way out. A skin of humanity. For the Designer of the Youniverse.

You made Your Skin die. To rescue the game. You made us a place. There is no greater name.

Thank you Jesus. I love you God. Your Spirit is the air I breathe and the water I drink.

Where is the freaking “off”button?


I want to write

I want to think

And I kind of want

A nice stiff drink

I need some time to figure out

The things that I keep thinking about

I know what I need but I’m really not sure

What it is I keep searching for

How am I supposed to find

The power button on my weary mind?

Trusting God


Me – It has been a problem for so long!

Him – I know, I’ve been there the whole time.

Me – When are You going to fix it?

Him – Just a little bit longer, I’m only making us stronger.

Me – The deadline is almost here.

Him – I know.

Me – I thought I trusted You.

Him – Point made.

Me – Touché Lord. I’m still scared.

Him – Be still, and know that I am God. You can always completely trust the One who loves you so much He died for you. I’ve got this.

Me – After a day or two of continuing to stress – Okay, thank You God. I’m still scared, but I see Your hand. Making me into the human You want me to be. Help me to trust Your plan.

Him – Hold my hand. I’ll walk you through it.

What to do when you realize you are an idiot:


In light of recent events, I am re-posting this as a reminder to myself. First and most importantly; don’t panic. 98.875% of the world’s population will come to this realization at some point in their lives. If you don’t think … Continue reading

Lots of fish…


blue-fish-6723

Once upon a time there was a fish.

One fish in the sea of millions.

The thing that makes this fish tale different,

Is that this fish didn’t know  how to swim.

She tried.

She tried so hard.

To be like the other fish.

To “fly” through the water.

The other fish made it look easy.

The same water that lifted everyone else,

Was suffocating, heavy, immobilizing.

A few fish tried to help.

To teach her how to swim

No use.

She couldn’t swim.

Eventually she stopped trying.

She wasn’t strong enough.

At least she wasn’t in her mind’s eye.

So she drifted.

So she fell.

So she drowned.

But don’t be sad…

There are lots of fish in the sea.

It’s Not Me, It’s You


My second post in the journey to becoming someone I want to be with.

I can be a bitch. Sorry for the language, but that word is really the most appropriate. The thing is, sometimes I don’t feel good. Sometimes I am PMSy. Sometimes you are annoying (being honest here). Each of these things on its own could make you into someone you don’t want to be with, but the combination seals the deal.

This whole “wanting to be with me” thing keeps running through my mind. How can I be someone I like if I am pissed off or depressed all the time? I shouldn’t be too hard on myself I guess. It is only 95% of the time.

So, what should I do when I am annoyed? When I am so depressed that I have to drag myself out of bed? When life spits in your face then laughs about it?

Answer? Blame. Blaming someone else for your problems can make the problem hurt less. Don’t pretend you are above that. We all do it, even if we don’t always realize it.

The problem with the blame game is that often we blame those closest to us. Our spouse, our co-worker, our kids. In all fairness, they could have contributed to the problem, but if we really want to get along with ourselves, we at least have to take responsibility for our reactions to our circumstances.

So, how can we get out from under the weight of responsibility? Blame yourself. Not the self reading this, blame your bitchy self. Blame the depressed girl in your bed. If we can shift blame and guilt for our problems to the “you” that you don’t like, the you with potential to make different choices will have a chance to shine.

Realizing that even though there are a lot of things about life that suck, there are a few things that are really great. Knowing that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t as good as it might sound when you are discouraged. Those are traits of the person I might want to be with.

That you needs to look the miserable one in the eye and say, “so you are sick, so you are pissed, so you think life sucks…that’s not me, it’s you”. Then get off your butt and do something worth doing. If you do, if you leave your bad mood with the crappy “you”, you will be one step closer to becoming someone you want to be with.