In light of recent events, I am re-posting this as a reminder to myself. First and most importantly; don’t panic. 98.875% of the world’s population will come to this realization at some point in their lives. If you don’t think … Continue reading
Once upon a time there was a fish.
One fish in the sea of millions.
The thing that makes this fish tale different,
Is that this fish didn’t know how to swim.
She tried so hard.
To be like the other fish.
To “fly” through the water.
The other fish made it look easy.
The same water that lifted everyone else,
Was suffocating, heavy, immobilizing.
A few fish tried to help.
To teach her how to swim
She couldn’t swim.
Eventually she stopped trying.
She wasn’t strong enough.
At least she wasn’t in her mind’s eye.
So she drifted.
So she fell.
So she drowned.
But don’t be sad…
There are lots of fish in the sea.
Here is a real version, and here is one for you to karaoke with my new lyrics to. Frosty the stoned man Was a jolly happy soul, With a silver pipe and a runny nose And eyes so red … Continue reading
I still can’t stay long, since I’m trying to write for real, but I wanted to share this story with anyone who might still be stopping by. As a side note, do you think I will ever get published? I’m … Continue reading
This is so weird. I have never had as much difficulty writing as I’ve been having lately. Everyone says “it must be writer’s block” when writing is difficult. Some of us are way too creative to fall for that silly … Continue reading
My second post in the journey to becoming someone I want to be with.
I can be a bitch. Sorry for the language, but that word is really the most appropriate. The thing is, sometimes I don’t feel good. Sometimes I am PMSy. Sometimes you are annoying (being honest here). Each of these things on its own could make you into someone you don’t want to be with, but the combination seals the deal.
This whole “wanting to be with me” thing keeps running through my mind. How can I be someone I like if I am pissed off or depressed all the time? I shouldn’t be too hard on myself I guess. It is only 95% of the time.
So, what should I do when I am annoyed? When I am so depressed that I have to drag myself out of bed? When life spits in your face then laughs about it?
Answer? Blame. Blaming someone else for your problems can make the problem hurt less. Don’t pretend you are above that. We all do it, even if we don’t always realize it.
The problem with the blame game is that often we blame those closest to us. Our spouse, our co-worker, our kids. In all fairness, they could have contributed to the problem, but if we really want to get along with ourselves, we at least have to take responsibility for our reactions to our circumstances.
So, how can we get out from under the weight of responsibility? Blame yourself. Not the self reading this, blame your bitchy self. Blame the depressed girl in your bed. If we can shift blame and guilt for our problems to the “you” that you don’t like, the you with potential to make different choices will have a chance to shine.
Realizing that even though there are a lot of things about life that suck, there are a few things that are really great. Knowing that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t as good as it might sound when you are discouraged. Those are traits of the person I might want to be with.
That you needs to look the miserable one in the eye and say, “so you are sick, so you are pissed, so you think life sucks…that’s not me, it’s you”. Then get off your butt and do something worth doing. If you do, if you leave your bad mood with the crappy “you”, you will be one step closer to becoming someone you want to be with.
Isn’t it strange that pennies always seem to be around if you care enough to stop and notice them? Some people are like that too. David was a boy who never seemed to be around when needed. Once with tragic … Continue reading
This is the final post in the OAA series. A big thanks to all of you who have followed the overanalyzing fun. If you have read the series, I would really appreciate a brief review of it. I am in the process of submitting it to drama companies in hopes of an actual performance, and reviews will help with that process. Please help me with this.
For the past several weeks, the OAA members have been in their building (which is surrounded by poop) held hostage at gunpoint by Jerry. Joe had escaped by cab after ordering pizzas for the group.
Still Week 9
Jerry: When are those pizzas going to be here?
Bob: (Very depressed) I don’t know Jerry. Joe probably took off or something. You can’t blame him.
(Pizza guy comes through the door): We have an order here for (looks at notes) Bob?
Bob: Jerry is the one with the money.
Jerry: What is your deal Bob? You look like you’re about to jump off a bridge.
Bob: (Shakes his head)
Jerry: How much man?
Pizza guy: $81.95
Jerry: What? That is robbery!
Pizza guy: Hey, you got Piggy’s Pizza. Your wallet needs to be as fat as you are. You aren’t too fat though. You looked like you walked in off the street.
Jerry: Just take the money. (Pizza guy takes the money and leaves) (To everyone in the group) Where is Joe anyway?
Everyone starts looking through the pizzas and starts eating, ignoring the question.
Jerry: (Between bites) Okay, I don’t think Joe is coming back, and I’ve heard enough from all of you to write a book.
Listen, you all are some messed up people. I think you’re going to need a lot more than a measly support group to help you. Has anyone here tried medication?
Sue: I was on allergy medication once, but it made me really sleepy. It also made my eyes water. Maybe that was the allergies making them water…
Bill: Medications are part of the government’s plan to make us dependent on them and their “miracle” drugs.
Jill: I was on Xanax for a while, and Valium, but I felt like they were making me paranoid.
Jack: Although I understand how some people need medications, I have never really found them necessary. It seems to me like the need for medication is often the result of an underlying mental condition. Sure, there are people out there who have physical symptoms too, but if you really think about it, aren’t illnesses part of a deeper psychological cause? Long ago people were not on nearly as many medications as they are now. Actually, that is probably not being fair to the people with legitimate medical issues. I would certainly hate for people to assume that I had mental problems when I actually have some illness that mental…
(As Jack is talking, Bob begins quietly sneaking up behind Jerry. He reaches him and grabs the gun from his hand).
Bob: What! This isn’t even real?
Jerry: I may not be a rocket scientist, but I’m not an idiot. You think I would be dumb enough to bring a loaded gun in here? With you freaks?
Sue: How could you Jerry? All this time we have been so scared. The only good thing that has happened is Bob confessing his love for me, and that would have been better under different circumstances. Something like a twilight stroll on the beach or a trip to Paris…
Jill: Jerry, you are more of a jerk than Bill is, and he can be pretty bad. I am so mad right now, I could almost kill you.
Bill: You’re an alright guy Jerry. Here I thought they had finally gotten through to you, and were trying to gather info on us, when all along you were just messing with us. I have a whole new respect for you.
Jack: I thought it might be a toy gun. It didn’t look as heavy as it would have if you were holding a real gun. I’m good at noticing things like that. I’m not bragging or anything. People are good at all sorts of different things. Just because I’m good at noticing stuff doesn’t mean your talents aren’t important. In some situations they might not be important, but there are a lot of situations that would require some of the lesser skills that other people have. For example, if…
Jerry: Okay Jack, we get it. Anyway, this is the most your group has accomplished in the whole time you’ve been doing this Bob, so you shouldn’t be too upset. It’s been fun, but I’ve got to go. You all have helped me realize that even though I’m an alcoholic, broke, and homeless, it could be much worse. I could be like you all are. Thanks for the pizza. (Leaves)
Sue: Wow, that was crazy. So, is the building really surrounded by poop, or was he faking that too?
Jill: What are you on Sue? Seriously…
Bill: This has been the best night yet Bob.
Jack: I’d better head out too. I need to see if Joe is okay. He might have gotten killed or something. You don’t think the pizza guy would have given him a ride out of here right? Maybe he was too embarrassed to come back in and talk about his tall Asian body. I hope the pizza guy didn’t tease him too much about it. He already is so insecure, and any additional comments might push him over the edge. I guess that happens when you overanalyze stuff.
Sue: Bye guys. So, Bob…
Bob: Yes, I’ll walk you to your car.
Sue: I thought maybe we could get some coffee or something too. You don’t have to. I just assumed since we both know how we feel about each other that we might want to take our relationship to the next level. I’m not talking about having sex or anything. Just dating a bit. Taking it from here you know? But if you don’t think you’re ready…
Bob: Why not Sue. It couldn’t get much worse than it already is, right?
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Okay, I need your help. I would like to see how I would do with an “Out Of My Mind” trifecta.
I need a:
main character (policeman, alien, cow, etc.))
setting (mars, kingdom, forest, etc.)
type (poem, sci fi, essay, etc.)
Maybe a random word to throw in there, but I already think I am losing it to ask for these things.
Anyway, to make it more interesting, I would like to get each suggestion from different people. Whatever person suggests something first, in each area, will be the one I use, or try to use. If it is impossible, I’ll say nevermind, and just do Trifecta’s idea. Okay?
I’m glad you had a good time after work today. I really am. Sometimes it is hard for me to communicate my feelings, and sometimes it is hard for me to understand my feelings. I can communicate better, when I write, so here it goes.
I am glad. I want you to be happy, and I am happy for you. It seems like we have made a few decisions lately to go with what one of us is thinking/wanting. And later we may go with something the other one wanted. It is hard to know when something is really the best thing to do, but there’s no road map to guide us.
I love you, and I’m glad you are able to do some of the things you enjoy. Everyone needs a little spontaneity sometimes too,
So, it’s all good. Good night.